25 Things: A Defense

The world is an an uproar over these "25 Things" lists. Naturally, an-even-trendier-than-the-original-trend backlash has emerged, ironically expressed with Facebook status message protests and culminating with a smug Time article. Calling the meme "stupid" and "narcissistic," author Claire Suddath takes aim at the trend with unapologetic scorn. While I can see some of her points, especially about people revealing too many dirty details to the facebook world, I think this article and other expressions of disdain for "25 Things" lists have all the gravity of Ashlee Simpson telling girls that they're beautiful the way they are. 

Sure, the notes are self-serving. They contribute to the myth of a fixed identity that can be summarized and posted to the internet, and maybe in that way discourage true interaction and examination. But If you have a Facebook you are already a part of the silliness; you are already a narcissist. If you have a mirror, if you ever tell stories about yourself and assume that people are interested, if you post pictures of yourself--you are already totally obsessed with you. While many narcissistic practices are common place, or disguise self-celebration in a cloak of community, the 25 Things note is all about what one deems worthy or interesting about one's self. If you find yourself emotionally bothered by the 25 Things notes, I have to suggest that you are threatened by this trend because it unabashedly embraces the narcissism we all try to rationalize away in our daily lives. 

I've read almost every single 25 Things note written by a Facebook friend, and in contrast to the bitter elitists who think they are above said notes, I learned a ton of funny, interesting, surprising, and even uplifting factoids about people I know, or kind of know, or just vaguely know of from some random interaction within the past several years. Sure, some strike me as annoying or make me feel awkward, but overwhelmingly the notes I read were playful, idiosyncratic, self-deprecating, and met with warmth from those who found something shared.

Suddath's missive--which, quality wise, is about as worthy of Time as my third grade report on hair--concludes with a list of 25 Things she wishes she didn't know about people. Why she felt the need to publicly embarrass people that she claims to be "friends" with by posting their facts under the labels of stupid and narcissistic (instead of just not reading the notes that cause her unending grief) is an issue for her psychologist. In protest of the protests, I am concluding with a list of my own:

25 Things I Am Grateful To Have Learned About People

1) Everytime I hear the song "It's not unusual" by Tom Jones, I feel like breaking out in the Carlton dance. Oh yea, I also like to moonwalk when no one is watching

2) I don't like to lie, even white lies, but when I was little I had a tendency to make up really elaborate stories about having an adult sister from my mom's other life, and apparently was really convincing because I got members of my own family to believe me.

3) Physical Anthropoloy is my PASSION. Studying bones and the way humans and apes evolved is so amazing, I never grow bored. Where it will take me in my future, I do not know...hopefully studying bones somewhere around the world..(once I finish my degree that is).

4) I hate smooth jazz. HATE IT. Rob tries to make me listen to it sometimes and this morning when I woke up I found my alarm clock music had shifted from 97.9 ( my rap n' r&b) to 98.7 ( smooth jazz..BARF). Accident? Perhaps. Or a conspiracy to get me used to it...We might never know.

5) I support the complete legalization of marijuana. I'm comfortable being labeled a stoner. 

6) I have been skydiving, bungy jumping, white water rafting, parasailing, and in a submarine. All in a two week time span.

7) I used to sell four leaf clovers out of my desk drawer in fifh grade. I had quite the knack for finding them!

8) I have hung out with OJ Simpson. I have pictures to prove it. I am glad he is locked up.

9) Even though it’s the most beautiful blessing… not gonna lie… pregnancy creeps me out a little.

10) When I was little I won a pig snorting contest. I made my mom very proud.

11) text messaging is really important to me. i’m being serious. i think if i were to date a guy and found out he doesn’t really text, it could be a deal breaker. old dude would have to be pretty fucking amazing to trump my love for text messaging. 

12) I have always found religion to be interesting to study and boring to follow. 

13) I enjoy figuring it out at the kitchen table.

14) I pretend to "waterfall" when I play Kings...and I'll admit to it

15) I like to pee with door open...in fact it's easier for me to go to the bathroom when I know I can hear and talk to everyone around me

16) I don't have a preference or a lack of preference for travel. you can't experience everything; a lack of experience is an experience in in and of itself. have you ever experienced never experiencing anything? I'll travel, but only to share with others. I won't be the one to intiate the interest.

17) i swear a lot. i waver between trying to cut back and not giving a fuck. 

18) I feel awkward writing this becuase I don't feel like others would necessarily want to read this. Which is something which cuases me to ask "why are there so many books in the world?" why the hell would they think others would want to hear what they have to say? in other words, if you have gotten this far; cool.... 

19) When I walked in on my ex cheating, I threw an over 50 lbs. tool box through his boat window.. most mature thing to do... no...completely satisfying... yes 

20) I don't know why I am not rich by now.

21) My first three husbands did significant jail time. 

22) Whenever it's windy and/or cold outside, my eyes water uncontrollably. This inevitably leads people to ask the question, "Are you crying?" For the record: no, I am not. Except for that one day, during finals week junior year, when my computer crashed and I had to carry my tower to my car (which was about a mile away) and it was snowing and I just broke up with my HS boyfriend and just as I was about to cross the train tracks I heard the train bells sound and I totally lost it and started sobbing. But I doubt you saw me that day. And if you did.. well, you could've offered to help carry the Dell?

23) When I was 15, I broke up with my boyfriend by emailing him the lyrics to an O-Town song. Yes, believe it. 

24) I hate my dog

25) My Dog hates me

Comments

[kelly]

this made my week.
fuck haters!

[Jay Smooth]

Good post. :) It's funny, this writer is haughtily judging Facebook posts as if they are published magazine articles, while she's in the middle of publishing something in Time magazine that reads like the clunkiest of casual web chat.

Totally tone-deaf about both of the media she's dabbling in.. and so smug about it!