Barack Obama gave Captain Jack Sparrow the map above and a (quite jangly) set of keys to our nation’s nuclear facilities. In an attempt to cover up this obvious error in judgment, the Government Printing Office “accidentally” disclosed the same information on their website a few weeks ago. We’re all gonna die. [Wall Street Journal]

Over the weekend, Microsoft launched Bing, which is calls “an internet decision engine” rather than a search engine. Predictably, the interface seems like a weighty, overworked version of Google. They also provide tutorial videos, which I recommend watching if you have nothing important to do and love to waste time watching videos of straight forward internet searches complicated by completely unhelpful diagrams. [Bing]

Once relevant members of the dying GOP continue to throw hissy fits about every shit Obama takes, or when he nominates someone to the Supreme Court, or just whatev. Seriously, can’t an “every-day white guy” like Lindsey Graham get along with a “wise latina” even if she does have the hysteria like all dem womens? [WaPo]

Meanwhile, the prezzie himself is pretty much on vacay, planning his major speech to the Muslim world tomorrow. According to my calculations, this means Obama will reveal his sinister support for anti-American jihad approximately... tomorrow. . I’ve got my burka ready; don’t say you weren’t warned. [CNN]