Entries in A New Era (18)
WASTING PAPER
International Transgender Day Of Visibility Is Invisible On The Interwebs
Hey, you! International community of trained professionals dedicated to writing about thingies that go on: How about writing stories about this instead of this? Don't you know that LL Cool J Sarah Palin is out? Ah, fuck it, just go read Meghan McCain's twitter; she posed for the "Dont' H8 On Us You H8ers, H8 Sux And It's The Worst, Boo H8" campaign," so she should pretty much have this covered.
Texas Board Of Ed Approves Measure To Kick American Education System When It's Down
The Texas State Board of Education has voted 10-5 in favor of humiliating America in front of the rest of the world. In support of this larger initiative, they have made the following updates to their curriculum:
Entire State Of Michigan Soon To Be 'Funemployed'
According to numbers, the entire country is on the verge of having to sell a) their bodies, or b) vitamins in a pyramid scheme. However, Michigan saw the sharpest rise in unemployment of any state in 2009, managing to go from 8.3% in 2008 to 13.6% in 2009. This is truly an honor, as Michigan rarely wins anything these days. Beer for everyone! ...Not like you have a job to go to. [Charlotte Business Journal]
New York Conspiring To Commit Shenanigans
WTF, New York? W. T. F. Ever since Eliot Spitzer, that place has been nothing but salty language, domestic violence and ethics violations. THIS ISN'T A FRAT PARTY, PEOPLE. Are you trying to get Sarah Palin elected? Do you want all the sick babies to die??? Was the state of New York looking to get the GOP an early Christmas present and thought, "You know what they'd really like? Congress." Just pool in for a leopard print Snuggie and call it a day.
Miley Cyrus's Kid Sister To Debut Lingerie Line For Half-Bodies
The headline says it all. Boo, no, gross, I hate this. So wrong. Just so wrong. [Daily Mail]
New Sin Tax: New York Governor Wants To Ruin Your Life By Taxing Pop
Redpop guzzlers beware: After banning trans-fats it appears the next step toward achieving a perfect race of skinny people, by force, is taxing pop. (For readers outside of the Midwest, “pop” is a shorter, better name for what the rest of the country insists on calling “soda” or, in the confused South, “Coke.”) New York, being the center of the universe, is where this great wave of the future will start. Here are a few reasons that Governor David Paterson wants to up-charge your (non-diet) beverage selection:
Liveblogging the State of the Crappy Union, 2012 Ed.
Well, the United States of America still exists, for now! I was going to plan my intro paragraph during a long, hot shower but the hot water isn't working. In this scenario one might call a maintenance man, or one might boil water on the stove and bathe herself in the kitchen sink like a giant baby. You can guess which option I chose, so I pretty much spent all my brainpower on not dying naked and alone in my kitchen. Anyway! Let's jump right in.
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