Schools Trying To Turn Our Children Gay, Slutty (Again)

Wisconsin recently added some shizz to their guidelines about sex-ed, like condoms and birth control pills. See, under Bush, kids were taught to pray for forgiveness at the onset of puberty and to hold tight to their rosary beads when they had the urge to caress some balls. A radical left wing terrorist cell known as the Centers for Disease Control decided that wasn't working, and now everything is all fouled up.

Luckily, one fearless man is warning teachers that they could be arrested for complying:

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Obama's Secret Plan To Abort Senior Citizens

While McCain is focusing on his personal conspiracy to fatten Americans for the purpose of eating them, Obama is pouring all of his energy into aborting old people. According to this one bumper sticker, Obama already aborted all the babies while you were busy playing your XBox. So, it may be too late to win that fight, but you can still affix this sticker to your car in time to save Grandma before she "gets run over by a reindeer" with only Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden as witnesses.

If you need convincing, head over to Take A Stand Bumper Stickers and immerse yourself in some dude's background story about why he wants to impeach Obama:

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"Am I Going To Be On The Internet Somewhere?"

I recently polled my slightly compromised girlfriends on some heavy political issues of our day. Their responses were too amazing not to share. I highly recommend you check out this hot new vid:

I would like to thank these wonderful people for being such good sports as I make them look like total idiots on the interwebs. You girls keep me young!

Women Are Basically Cancer: Babies, Vaginas Uninsurable

Everybody loves babies! They are the future! Am I right, or am I right?! WRONG. Insurance companies hate babies. They hate fat babies; they hate skinny babies. Most of all, they hate women, because women have babies.

As congress spins its wheels on a public option and Hilary Clinton sits in her office, all like "I told you this shit was harder than it looked," the insurance industry continues to equate having a vagina with having a pack-a-day habit. Being a woman, it turns out, is considered a pre-existing condition by some providers:

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Abortion Protesters Annoy Everyone, Even Unborn Babies

Updated on Thursday, January 22, 2009 at 4:09PM by Hayley's Comment

Those jesus nuts sure do love to waste time. First of all they spend like ten billion hours a week straight prayin,' then they go and spend all their moneys to fight gay marriage all the way in cal-ee-forn-ee-uh, and now they are marching on Washington to mark the all-important 36th anniversary of Roe v. Wade. Earth to Matilda, as if anyone in this country can stop foraging for jobs/food/cans long enough to care about a non-multiple-of-5 anniversary. Let's discuss the most offensive aspects of abortion protesters, after the jump! READ MORE...

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