Cheat Sheet: Bobby Jindal

Because, like many of the boys I’ve dated, Republicans choose to see their losses as the result of others’ clever tricks rather than their own brand of total fuckery, they are convinced that they need a vagina or a black or some other minority to put them back on top. Since Sarah Palin turned out to be a common meth head and Michael Steele is busy writing rap songs about tax cuts or whatever, Bobby Jindal, President of Louisiana, is now the GOP’s Great Indian Hope for 2012 and their choice to respond to President Barry’s congressional address this evening. Usually they let old guys do the kind of speech Jindal will give tonight, but Jindal is just like an old Repub, only with a skin suit made from Hispanic teenagers!

Jindal is the first Indian-American governor; in other words he is neither a gay nor a Muslim/terrorist (yay!). At 37, he is young enough to know some of the hip songs on Obama’s iPod, which means he is Charismatic. But behind that toothy grin there is a sinister past that you should know about, so you can shut idiots down when they start talking about how Jindal’s not that bad, he’s young and multicultural and Louisiana seems chill, etc. Discover what Linda Blair and Bobby Jindal have in common, after the jump! READ MORE...

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