Obama Loves Global Warming More Than Jobs

Jesus, an avid fisher, believes in each state's right to kill as many fish as they want.

Watch out--your fishing rights are in danger: 'Racky is planning a federal takeover of every last puddle in this damn country. He is trying to establish nine regional "planning bodies" that would seek to establish coordination between feds, locals, and injuns (who are not even real Americans) so they could strategize and stuffs about how to save the fishies from extinction. Luckily, RedState sees right through this charade:

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New Sin Tax: New York Governor Wants To Ruin Your Life By Taxing Pop

Redpop guzzlers beware: After banning trans-fats it appears the next step toward achieving a perfect race of skinny people, by force, is taxing pop. (For readers outside of the Midwest, “pop” is a shorter, better name for what the rest of the country insists on calling “soda” or, in the confused South, “Coke.”) New York, being the center of the universe, is where this great wave of the future will start. Here are a few reasons  that Governor David Paterson wants to up-charge your (non-diet) beverage selection:

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Because You're Not Worth It: New Mammogram Guidelines Say 'Just Don't Bother'

When I first visited Planned Parenthood to obtain birth control in high school I've heard from friends that even as a teenager, Planned Parenthood sends you home with one of those plastic thingies with helpful diagrams on how to feel for lumps in your boobs (see tata pics, above). You're supposed to hang it in your shower; we had one at our first college apartment but took it down because boys thought it was weird but I am not sexually active nor have I ever been Dad so I don't really know. The message was that breast cancer is one of those things that you should really catch early if at all possible. The new message, however, is that women don't even need to perform self-examinations, nor do they need regular mammograms until the age of 50:

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Barack Obama Implements Phase One Of Communist Brainwashing Program

Fake President Barack Obama is inviting citizens to form their own terrorist sleeper cells all over the nation. Naturally, this plot is unfolding at the radical jihadist website BarackObama.com. Sure, it was all cute and exciting when Barry was so tech-savvy during the campaign, but now that he has won he is once again mobilizing his massive online network, most likely to push a radical Muslim agenda. 

Obama, who is no stranger to meeting in houses, with terrorists, has asked thousands of mesmerized followers to hold so-called "Economic Recovery House Meetings." In order to aid with your "recovery," Obama provides all the deets. What tools does one need in order to "successfully" host a party celebrating the myriad failures of our nation and our impending doom? Propaganda, of course! After the jump we'll interpret the New World Order subtext of Obama's sexy "Host Guide" using the popular blogging convention of strikethrough text! KEEP READING... 

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