Someone Who Isn't Barack Obama Previews New Old Strategy With Unremarkable Video

If you love to be bored, watch this movie about Barry's brand new!!!! 2012 Strategy, which hinges on the youth who love him for his sexy Facebook page, as well as constantly "maysuring" progress and reevaluating the Strategy. Also, it is the same as his last strategy:

1. Expand the electorate
2. Build something new
3. Grow the grassroots in the states
4. Measure our progress
5. Work for every vote

My least favorite is #5. What kind of asinine recommendation is that? Here are five alternative #5's, any of which would be more valuable advice:

5. Keep the bombing to a minimum
5. Go back to giving good speeches
5. Accidentally leave your microphone on more often
5. Let the paparazzi photograph you with your shirt off
5. Stay hydrated

No, you're right, probably better to just "shut your mouths" for another half a year while various GOP clowns do pretty much whatever the fuck with unions, the budget, basic human services, etc.

Oh well, at least they are sort of trying? And even though it is actually nothing new, that's okay because as you say, guy who isn't a very exciting vlogger, 2008 was "so special." Because of the "grass roots," which exist only as an organizing concept, having nothing to do with specific people or issues. Anyway, this all sounds pretty good, I'M IN!

Sarah Palin On Newsweek Cover: "OMG FML"

 

Sarah Palin is so mad at Newsweek. They put her on the cover in a running outfit instead of one of her eleventy billion dollar suits. IT IS SO SEXIST, she facebooked. (And here I thought making rape victims pay for their own rape kits was sexist.)

I'm one of those feministy types who will point out sexist rhetoric on a Kraft macaroni box, and even I'm struggling here. Sure, she's wearing shorts and her stance is more pageant queen-y than serious politician-y, but I'm guessing that's kind of the point of the article. And considering that she holds no official position, a leisure outfit seems fairly appropriate. 

The funny thing is, if they showed her at home baking a pie, she probably wouldn't even understand the inherent sexism. Luckily we know that our Sarah is a Serious Thinking Person, so we can be 100% sure that she's not throwing out baseless accusations to distract us from the headline, which basically calls her a useless wad of suckage sent from hell to destroy us all. 

[CSM]

The Last Mono Blog: What Doing Nothing Taught Me About Everything

 

Tomorrow marks my return to society, which is lucky for society because frankly, it seems things are a little shaky. To commemorate my tenure on the couch and properly honor my victory over mono, here are exactly nine (9) relevant facts I've learned whilst wasting away these past two weeks! Write these down. Copy and paste these: 

Click to read more ...

25 Things: A Defense

The world is an an uproar over these "25 Things" lists. Naturally, an-even-trendier-than-the-original-trend backlash has emerged, ironically expressed with Facebook status message protests and culminating with a smug Time article. Calling the meme "stupid" and "narcissistic," author Claire Suddath takes aim at the trend with unapologetic scorn. While I can see some of her points, especially about people revealing too many dirty details to the facebook world, I think this article and other expressions of disdain for "25 Things" lists have all the gravity of Ashlee Simpson telling girls that they're beautiful the way they are. 

Click to read more ...