Reading Rove: Why Obama's "Summit" Sux Eggs

Today is the day of all days! It’s the day of Obama’s promised bipartisan healthcare summit. Or, as my boyfriend, Karl Rove calls it, his “summit,” (Quotes are Rovey’s) (Otherwise that wouldn’t really make sense), because we all know that Obama is only holding this event so he can tell more LIES on national teevee. See:

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Republicans On Racism: "Could You Use It In A Sentence Please?"

It’s officially an election year now (even though for politicians it has been 2010 since November 2008). And I’m there will plenty of baseless, inaccurate and flat-out nonsensical insults thrown around by both parties. (Here is where you should cringe if you ever referred to John Kerry as a “flip-flopper.” Go ahead, we all understand—the commercial said he voted for the war before he voted against it!) But the GOP is fast becoming the party that cried “Discrimination!”

We already had to give Sarah Palin a sexism tutorial, and now it appears the entire Republican Party needs a vocabulary lesson on the basics of racism. They are all super P.O.’ed at Harry Reid for saying that Obama was only electable because he was a “light-skinned” black person with none of that thurr negro talkin’ goin’ on—so mad that they want him resign his post and be thrown in prison for racism.

Because of Politics, Reid had to apologize to the world and most of all Barack Obama for basically pointing out that America is full of hypocrisy and racism. What he should have said is:

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OMG Surprise: Bill O'Reilly Hates Law & Order

 

Everyone who knows me knows that Law & Order: SVU is the best show on the planet, without question. So why does Bill O'Reilly hate this masterful teevee program? Well, to be fair, they hated him first: They called him cancer! Here, let's see what all the fuss is about:

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Joe Lieberman Sucks At Stuff; No Surprise There

Sen. Joe Lieberman (Conn.) on the Senate floor. At the full moon, he shapeshifts into a crying baby.You know that feeling you get when someone says "I just wanna be with you," and you realize later that what they really meant was "I'm drunk, and I have no interest in dating you long-term, but I'd really like to continue sleeping with you and accepting your emotional validation until I find someone who I really want to commit to and/or you have nothing left to give. Oh, and pick up some cigs on the way over?" And you're like, "Well, I probably should have figured that out sooner." It's the same duh feeling you had when you found out balloon boy was a hoax. Well, that's how I'm feeling about the uproar over this whole 'Joe Lieberman shocks everyone by being a douchebag about the public option' business. CLICK TO READ MORE...

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Barack Obama Hates Las Vegas So Much

Jim Gibbons, the Republican governor of Nevada, is srsly PO’ed at Barack Obama. In a statement, Obama discouraged companies that have received taxpayer bailout money from wasting it all on hookers, booze and gambling; apparently Gibbons took that as a direct assault on Vegas! After “demanding” a meeting with the president (how adorable), and being rejected, Gibbons is publicly denouncing Obama’s comments and calling for him to “repair the damage:”

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