Tomorrow marks my return to society, which is lucky for society because frankly, it seems things are a little shaky. To commemorate my tenure on the couch and properly honor my victory over mono, here are exactly nine (9) relevant facts I've learned whilst wasting away these past two weeks! Write these down. Copy and paste these: 

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Okay, so I have mono, which is usually reserved for horny teenagers who sneak out to neck with each other at Makeout Point or whatever the kids are doing these days to earn those sex bracelets. But even though I can barely keep my eyes open long enough to write this post, I know that there's some relatively noteworthy shit going on that could at least vaguely be related to politics as a general category. For example, there were elections today, elections that will finally tell us whether electing that Muslim fellow was a giant mistake, as purported by this super clever acrostic poem-style bumper sticker: 

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The world is an an uproar over these "25 Things" lists. Naturally, an-even-trendier-than-the-original-trend backlash has emerged, ironically expressed with Facebook status message protests and culminating with a smug Time article. Calling the meme "stupid" and "narcissistic," author Claire Suddath takes aim at the trend with unapologetic scorn. While I can see some of her points, especially about people revealing too many dirty details to the facebook world, I think this article and other expressions of disdain for "25 Things" lists have all the gravity of Ashlee Simpson telling girls that they're beautiful the way they are. 

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