Okay, so I have mono, which is usually reserved for horny teenagers who sneak out to neck with each other at Makeout Point or whatever the kids are doing these days to earn those sex bracelets. But even though I can barely keep my eyes open long enough to write this post, I know that there's some relatively noteworthy shit going on that could at least vaguely be related to politics as a general category. For example, there were elections today, elections that will finally tell us whether electing that Muslim fellow was a giant mistake, as purported by this super clever acrostic poem-style bumper sticker: 

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This commercial is the most offensive thing I’ve seen on TV in months, and it’s haunting me along with ads for modern day corsets and knives that come in sets of... two sets. Have you been fighting strange impulses to purchase infomercial items such as a Strap Perfect, a Snuggie, or a Ped Egg? Items that you would normally laugh off (besides the Snuggie)? You are not alone. Gawker has confirmed what I’ve been suspecting during my late night That 70’s Show rerun-athons—infomercials are becoming more pervasive due to all the regular advertisers being totally broke.

I realize that the cringeworthy commercial above isn’t an infomercial, but it’s just so wrong and terrifying, and I’m hoping that passing it along to you will relieve my burden sort of like in The Ring how you have to make a copy before you can be free.

Since the New Great Depression is just beginning, this means the era of never having to leave your couch (or not being able to afford to) in order to buy meaningless crap is just beginning. What infomercial item are you going to splurge on? Draft Guard? Sham Wow? A word to the wise: Pasta Perfect is NOT perfect. Like, AT ALL.

[NYT via Gawker]