Hokay, So. Last night was basically Obama’s prom: He gave a rousing speech on healthcare, and I missed it because I had to prevent one roommate from calling the cops on another in order to avoid having to move my stash. So I fake live-blogged it because I figured there is no better way to reclaim my throne as the best blogger EVER on this site. Check out ma shit, then leave your responses to the speech in the comments.

You remember how it works? Is it all coming back, all coming back to you now? Were there moments of gold and then flashes of light? Were there things you’d never do again but then they’d always seem right? Were there nights of endless pleasure, was it more than any laws allow? If you are humming a haunting tune and picturing Celine Dion watching her dead lover ride his motorcycle through a castle, you win! To claim your prize, contact the RNC and tell them you’ve won a public option. AFTER you read more, following the jump...

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Oh, how adorable: A crosswalk signal dusted with flurries

Apparently it's What-the-Fuck Tuesday here at Hayley's Comment, probably because all the real news is too bleak to mention. The latest to make assholes of themselves are the New Media Elite over at Gawker. Gawker writers are tuff because they are a new species than can actually make a living blogging, and they live in New York on a "per click" salary which is very dangerous and daring in these precarious times. HOWEVER. They are just a bunch of pansies! KEEP READING...

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Fake President Barack Obama is inviting citizens to form their own terrorist sleeper cells all over the nation. Naturally, this plot is unfolding at the radical jihadist website BarackObama.com. Sure, it was all cute and exciting when Barry was so tech-savvy during the campaign, but now that he has won he is once again mobilizing his massive online network, most likely to push a radical Muslim agenda. 

Obama, who is no stranger to meeting in houses, with terrorists, has asked thousands of mesmerized followers to hold so-called "Economic Recovery House Meetings." In order to aid with your "recovery," Obama provides all the deets. What tools does one need in order to "successfully" host a party celebrating the myriad failures of our nation and our impending doom? Propaganda, of course! After the jump we'll interpret the New World Order subtext of Obama's sexy "Host Guide" using the popular blogging convention of strikethrough text! KEEP READING... 

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